Who do you want to be?

Who do you want to be?

Lately, I’ve been basing most of my decisions off of one question:

“What kind of person do you want to be?”

It’s the kind of question that doesn’t leave much room for fear or excuses. It forces me to be intentional about my choices and think about the kind of life I’m creating for myself. It was the question that led me to go camping by myself this summer, and to go hiking alone a couple of weeks ago, even though I had anxiety-induced stress dreams about it the entire night before. It’s the question that keeps me sitting here, fingers to the keyboard, writing this right now (when honestly, I really want to distract myself with something meaningless).

Who Do You Want To Be? | Adventure & the Wild (photo by Kalen Emsley, via Unsplash)

I don’t want to be a woman who is controlled by fear. I don’t want to be a woman who lives her life solely in daydreams; I want to be the woman who takes those dreams and puts them into action.

I want to be strong.
I want to be intelligent.
I want to be kind.
I want to be loving.
I want to be brave.

I want to be the kind of woman who tries new things, even if they’re a little intimidating. I want to be a woman who challenges herself to push a little harder, go a little farther, climb a little higher. I want to be someone who creates beautiful artwork that means something to people, and who writes with passion and vulnerability. I want to be the kind of woman who is full of adventure, hope, and strength.

Usually, that means doing things I’m not completely comfortable doing. It means feeling awkward and a little unsure of myself. It means not being perfect, but putting myself out there anyway. It means taking action, even when I don’t feel like it. The choices I make in this moment are what determine the person I become in the next.

And step by step, it becomes a little easier and less scary. The things that once felt foreign start to feel familiar. I start feeling like myself again—stronger and confident in my new skin.

Art Loeb Trail. 'Cause Asheville and the Blue Ridge Mountains are my favorite.

Art Loeb Trail. 'Cause Asheville and the Blue Ridge Mountains are my favorite.

On changing and being myself

On changing and being myself

On changing goals and being myself | Adventure & the Wild (Photo by Sergey Zolkin)

There are a lot of women that I admire, particularly in the outdoor and art industries.

They’re the strong ones, the ones who climb mountains and stare fear and rejection in the face. They’re brave and driven, risk-takers and unbelievably creative. They know who they are and what they want and they’re willing to do what it takes to make it happen. They’re the dreamers and the doers, and I want to be those things, too.

Too often, though, I put myself in a box. I define myself and set parameters for who I’m allowed to be. After all, I’ve never been a risk-taker. As a kid, I was a cautious and shy with a big imagination. I lived in books and loved to learn. I was not athletic or brave.

I was the smart one who got straight A’s.
I was the artist, constantly making things.
I was the writer and the bookworm.
I was the sweet but shy one, the cautious one, the fearful one.

And somehow, I’ve been living under the conclusion that, since that’s the kind of person I’ve always been, that’s who I have to be forever. What? (Newsflash: your childhood personality doesn't have to determine your entire life.)

Because of that, though, I feel like I have to become a different person to do the things I want to do. I look at the women I admire, and I convince myself that I have to be just like them to achieve these new goals. I put on their personalities, interests and accomplishments like a costume, and as a result, my accomplishments don’t feel like my own; they feel like a stranger’s, like a coat that doesn’t fit quite right.

It’s one thing to be inspired by someone. Having role models to look up to, people who have paved the way before me—that’s important and empowering (because if they can do it, so can I). However, there’s a fine line between being inspired by someone and using them as a measuring stick of who I am. Trying to be just like another person—no matter how amazing they are—is damaging.

Having goals and aspirations is a good thing, but it’s vital to reach them as myself. I don’t have to be the people I admire to do the things I want to do. I’m not playing a character; I’m living my life. I am me and I can do those things as me—not as an embodiment of someone else.

In case you missed it, the new #LoveIsTheRealAdventure line has officially launched and is available for purchase in the shop! I am so excited about these new designs, and I hope you love them, too :)

Love is the Real Adventure

Love is the Real Adventure

Love is the Real Adventure

I wrote this several days ago, before the horrifying events of this week unfolded. I was originally planning to hold off sharing until I finalized some additional designs and could release it as a cohesive set. In light of recent events, it feels wrong to wait. Although the organization I will be supporting focuses primarily on the Middle East, their message transcends borders and people groups, and is exactly what I stand for, regardless of circumstances. You can read their response to this week’s events here.

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Lately, I’ve been a bit disillusioned with the word “adventure,” or at least with the way it has been portrayed. It’s become a bit of a cliché, overused to the point of not having any meaning. That’s discouraging to me, because it’s a word that holds so much personal meaning to me. So, instead of tossing the word, I’d like to start reclaiming it instead.

adventure (n.): 1. an exciting or very unusual experience. 2. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome. 
(v.): 1. to risk or hazard. 2. to take the chance of; dare.

For me, the core of adventure is my faith. I am a Christian, and I know that for many people (myself included), that’s a word that has plenty of baggage trailing behind it. Trust me; I get it. I know many of you don’t share my faith, and I want you to know—you are 100% still wanted and needed here. But stick with me. I’m not trying to convert you, but I am trying to practice the honesty and vulnerability that I talk about so often. For now, I’d like to ask you to set aside any mental pictures and preconceptions of Christianity, Jesus, and the church, and let’s talk about Jesus for a moment. Because really, that’s what being a Christian is all about: knowing Jesus and following Him. And I have a feeling he’s not quite what you’ve been led to believe.

I think most people tend to think of Jesus and Christianity as being very safe: going to church on Sundays, living a moral life, and mostly hanging out with people who do the same. Perhaps for many Christians, this is true. But Jesus wasn’t safe, and neither is truly following Him.

When Jesus was on earth, He shook things up. He didn’t do things the normal way, the expected way, or the easy way. He was a bit mysterious, and above all else, He loved. Really loved, in hard, scary ways. He didn’t hold back in any way—not from his friends, not from his enemies, and especially not from the ones who the rest of the world had forgotten, pushed aside, and rejected. He loved when it hurt, even to the point of death. If that’s not the polar opposite of safe, I don’t know what is.

Jesus embodied all the things that I want to be. He was brave, kind, and understanding. He was curious about people and their lives. He made a point to know who they really were, and He knew how to encourage them while continuing to challenge them to be better and to grow. He stood for both justice and grace, and left room for questions and mystery, because we do not all understand God in the same ways. He loved without boundaries. He still does. And He calls me to the exact same things.

Living that kind of lifestyle is not safe. It is not easy. It is not certain. But that’s an inherent part of faith: it requires a degree of uncertainty, and this particular faith calls you into a whole lot of uncertain, risky places—which is exactly what makes an adventure.

From here on out, I will be donating a portion of all profits to Preemptive Love Coalition, one of the most phenomenal organizations I’ve ever come across. They work in war-torn areas and active conflict zones in the Middle East to provide a variety of services (from medical care to small business empowerment) to those who have suffered under the hands of extremists, but more than that, they believe deeply in the power of love and peace. Not surface-level stuff, but the hard work of loving in the face of fear, and working towards reconciliation and forgiveness in the face of war and hatred. They believe in loving anyway, no matter the cost; showing up with your whole self, flaws and all; and getting out of the way in order to let people take charge of their own futures. I encourage you to visit their website and read their message + learn about their impact for yourself. They are proof that choosing to listen and love others at any cost really can change the world. That’s real adventure.

I didn’t think I was watering down my message to fit the trends, because I actually really like what’s trendy at the moment. I am all about mountains and road trips, and am fascinated with the idea of #vanlife and free-spirited living. I genuinely appreciate the move towards being more real and vulnerable on social media, and I want to contribute to that.  But in an effort not to alienate those who don’t share my beliefs, I held back the most integral part of what adventure means to me, and how genuine is that? I can’t expect you to be vulnerable with me if I don’t do the same for you.

Of course, I absolutely love hiking and camping and traveling and being outdoors. I think those are part of adventure, too (or at least a great way to learn it), and they will continue to be a part of Adventure & the Wild. Ultimately, though, they don’t define it for me. Adventure is much, much deeper. It’s one thing to risk your body; it’s quite another to risk your heart and soul (or, in the case of PLC, maybe even all three).

The mission behind A&TW remains the same: cultivating authentic + adventurous lives through the outdoors and intentional community. It’s just going to go a little deeper, and reach a little farther, and it’s going to start giving to a cause that stands for the heart behind it. I hope you’ll stick around for the ride, and more importantly, engage. Because your voice matters here.

As a little something for you (and a small taste of what’s to come), I created this free wallpaper for your phone, so you can have it as a constant reminder of what this is all about. You can download the files here or by clicking the image below.